If you were to ask someone how much they got paid, you could expect all sort of responses.
Money is a personal subject. We hold all sorts of weird emotions around the green stuff. Some of us love it, some scared, many scoff at its power and influence while others seem to be able to coax it down from the trees and straight into their pockets.
Guilt, shame, scorn, fear, security, panic – just some of the feelings that we can hold around money.
Undoubtedly money is an essential part of our existence and a healthy relationship with it can mean the difference between having a good and secure life or one fraught with fear and regret.
There is a fine line between making a good living and enjoying a good life. If we demonstrate respect for money it will show up in other areas of our lives making us feel profoundly better in a variety of ways.
But many of us play Russian roulette with our finances and wellbeing. A sense of entitlement, whether earned or not, creates a no-limits compulsion to shop such is our need for constant self-gratification.
If your happiness depends on spending you will find it an empty gratification. It doesn’t bring real authentic happiness just a brief high.
Do you recognize yourself in any of these?
- The “Ostrich” – you bury your head in the sand when bills pop through the door, your credit card is at its max and your bank is sending you letters.
- The “Impulsive Buyer” – this is the person who recklessly shops on a whim – vacations, lipsticks, new boots, nights out.
- The “Because I’m Worth It” – secretly feels they have had it a bit hard in life, plays the victim and fills this pain with purchases to “make myself feel better”. Ironically it has the opposite effect when you get home, see the results of your splurge and you’re back to square one.
- The “Status Shopper” – status anxiety is one of the most common causes of modern day unhappiness. We want what others have got because if we don’t we feel inferior or a failure. So we purchase things – flat screen TVs, I-Pads, designer sunglasses etc. to make us “look good”. Funny though that quite often, you don’t feel satisfied or even feel that good. Besides, oh no, look what that person over there has got…. and so it goes.
- The “I never have quite enough” – you work really hard yet you seem to have a leak somewhere in your finances. You hardly have enough for the bare essentials let alone luxuries. There are probably many blind spots in your spending – the lunches, lattes, magazines, glasses of wine with friends that you don’t account for. I had a client who didn’t realize he was spending $100 a week on cappuccino’s!
- The “I don’t know my worth and I don’t know how to ask for what I’m worth” syndrome – you routinely under-sell yourself and your services to your clients or ask the minimum when applying for a new job. You under-value yourself to such a degree you’d give it away if you could and then you never have enough or can catch up.
The “Dreamer” – broke, in-debt, fed-up and nothing much coming in, always money going out. Head in the clouds, feet on the sofa. But hey there’s the Lottery to win and one day you’re convinced your prince or a windfall will come.
Money Magnet Exercises
Here are some Money Magnet tips to instantly refresh your thinking around your money and how you are taking care of it.
- Clear your credit card bills – they weigh you down and suck your energy – then use only in absolute emergency
- Have one day a week where you spend nothing at all
- Bring packed lunches, bottled water and snacks in from home. You do the math on what you’ll save
- Put some money aside each month. If you can’t then get the bank to direct deposit into a savings account
- If you are an emotional see-it/want-it shopper – 1. Avoid the shops. 2. Decide to stop, walk away and if you still desire that item 24 hours later then budget for it.
- Get out of victim/deprivation thinking – it’s harmful to your self-esteem and you don’t need half the things you want.
- Look at your bank statements, learn to understand how much you have and what it is going on.
- Simplify your life. Enjoy simpler pleasures then earn those nights out or treats
- Ask yourself – am I using money as a weapon against myself or as a tool? How do you know?
- Be responsible for today. Tomorrow will come and you will need that money more as you age.
- Make a list of 7 things you want. Review the list and decide how much you really want those things. Now develop a timeline and budget to acquire ONE of those things.
- Have a “fun” fund. From this you buy your treats the rest goes on essentials and saving to create a safety net.
- Learn your priorities in life. Be responsible for your debts and clear them. The hair extensions and new lipstick can wait.
- Develop willpower
The downside of being careless and reckless with money is fear, stress, insecurity, low self-esteem, distrust of self, distrust from others, failed relationships, danger.
The upside of making your money work is peace of mind, self-respect, greater sense of being in control, more fun, less worry/stress, no dread and feeling more grounded and secure.
For more information book, my 30 minute “Try Me Session”
Contact Kathleen for a good business & life coach on www.sunnylifecoach.com